When I read the poem below I cried. That’s how deeply I felt its words.
My own children have grown and changed in what I felt was a heartbeat and I’d been so excited to see all of their firsts that it never occurred to me that there would be lasts.
I think back to the exhaustion being a parent can bring, to nights when you don’t feel like you want to read that bedtime story or when they cling to you and you just need a moments space.
The gift of this poem is it shifted my perception.
I really wish I’d read it sooner… I’m not saying I’ve become a perfect parent but I just didn’t think to hold on to moments and I hope as you read this you’ve not missed a thing. That daily life didn’t slip in between them as often as it did mine.
Being a photographer and loving what I do has a lot to do with this poem too. I capture firsts so that you can enjoy them and reminisce when they become lasts. Memories held forever. I love meeting families and shooting newborns because I know all of the moments that lie ahead, those milestones and how proud you feel, that happiness and most of all the unconditional love.
I’m sure you take a million photos, as I did, to record your moments but those photographs will be totally different to mine. Just as precious of course, but the other reason I became a photographer was because when my own children were small these shoots weren’t available. I had professional photos of my girls despite this, because photography has always been important to me. But no maternity shoot, no newborn shoot, no sitter, no cake smash. I can’t recover those times but I hope you can and never feel the regret that can no longer be changed. Even if it’s too late for these shoots you can always start. Document your family. Look back, hold on to them, remember and smile…
The Last Time
From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
you will never be the same,
You might long for the person you were before,
When you had freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about,
You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feedings and burping,
Nappy changes and crying,
Whining and fighting,
Naps or lack of naps,
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.
But don’t forget…
There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you feed your baby
for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you hold your sleeping child.
One day you will carry them on your hip,
then set them down,
And never pick them up again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for a cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake up to this.
One afternoon you will sing “The wheels on the bus”
and do all the actions,
Then never sing them that song again..
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face,
They will one day run to you with arms raised,
for the very last time.
The thing is you won’t even know it’s the last time,
Until there are no more times, and even then,
It will take you a while to realise.
So while you are living in these times,
remember there are only so many of them and when they are gone,
You will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one more last time.
Author unknown